I hired a new secretary last week. She is a strange, sad soul. She possesses neither beauty nor brains not the social skills that would make her likeable. What else can I say about someone who wonders if Thanksgiving will be on a Thursday again this year? What can I say about someone who breaks down in tears and leaves the room when asked to introduce herself at a staff meeting? We want to like her. We want to clasp her to our collective bosom and make her one of our own. But so far she is giving us very little to go on. Well, as Tim Gunn always says on Project Runway, we will just have to make it work.
You may wonder why I hired her. I had a lovely secretary, a delightful, intelligent woman, but she moved on to a better job, and I can't blame her. I advertised for a replacement and fate sent me Sharon as the only candidate.
I could have non-selected and tried again, but I heard a rumor that another manager was leaving and his secretary Evelyn would be given the next available vacancy.
I'll take Sharon, thank you very much.
Sharon may be out in left field, but Evelyn is up in the bleachers laying religious tracts on seats, unaware that there is a game in progress.
Purple Cow: Reflections on a Mythic Beast Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least
I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.
Frank Gelett Burgess
