Strike Dispair into the Heart

Geraldine Brooks wrote a wonderful review about "The Jewel of Medina" by Sherry Brooks. I read it recently in the Washington Post Book World. The book itself sounds dreadful, but the review was a riot, and it reminded me of some of my daughter's reviews of books and television shows. The review starts out:

It's shocking that Random House got cold feet about Muslim reaction and refused to publish Sherry Jones's The Jewel of Medina. But what's even more shocking is that they paid good money to acquire such a dreadful novel in the first place.

And it ends up:

Not everyone has responded to this book negatively. Some respected Muslim feminists such as Irshad Manji and Asra Nomani have written in support of The Jewel of Medina. So perhaps the fairest thing is to let the book speak for itself. Aisha's crush, Safwan, is described as: "Tall, handsome Safwan, with the chiseled face of a purebred steed and hair as thick and glossy as a horse's mane." There are words that strike despair into the heart of a reader. "Steed" is one of them. "Loins" another: "Desire burned like a fire in Muhammad's loins, unquenchable in one night, or two, or three." On almost every page, similes jostle each other for room: "Terror snatched at my throat like the teeth of a crazed dog and hammered the city like a hailstorm." And words strain for meaning in sentences such as this: "Outside, a vulture's cry impaled my waning hopes."

Finally, there's the matter of Aisha's vital signs. Her pulse does some very odd things: "My pulse raced like that galloping horse I'd dreamt so often of riding on with him." "My pulse reared like a spooked horse." "I ignored the whirling of my pulse." "My pulse clipping my throat. . . ." "My pulse surged." "My pulse sped." "I willed my fluttering pulse to calm down." Someone clearly needs to find that girl a cardiologist. Given the other anachronisms in this book, I wouldn't have been surprised had one turned up.

My daughter will remember that I once stopped reading a novel about the childhood of King Arthur's Guinevere because the author kept referring to her as a "fosterling".

And there is that memorable sentence in one of the last "Clan of the Cave Bear" books that says, "Jondalar awoke with a desire to make some tools". I seem to remember some "loins" and "steeds" in those books, too. By her second book, Jean Auel was sadly in need of an editor.

Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?

My youngest sister got a tattoo. She used a quote from an Emily Dickinson poem the says "It's all I have to bring today, this and my heart besides" along with a small heart and a clover. You can't go wrong with Emily Dickson, she says. She likes that poem because she puts her heart into everything she does. So her tattoo represents how she sees herself, and how others know her to be.

This got me thinking about what poem I might use if I decided to get a tattoo. My favorite Emily Dickinson poem starts out "It was not death, for I stood up" and that's not exactly what I would want to put on my shoulder blade.

I love Emily Dickinson, but my favorite poem may be "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot. My mother read that poem to us kids when I was about 12 years old, and I've loved it ever since. The poem starts with "Let us go then, you and I" and this is a phrase that my husband and I have used repeatedly to each other since our first date. At the start of that date, one of us said "Let us go then" and the other responded "You and I" and I was hooked. Here was guy who actually read poetry! Awesome. We still say that to each other when we are leaving the house. So I could have that tattooed on my body, or better yet my husband and I could each have half of the phrase immortalized on our flesh.

But, there is another line from Prufrock that I like even better. If you've never read the poem, I need to explain. Prufrock is going to make a visit to someone, and his intentions are to speak out, probably to a young woman, maybe make some kind of declaration. He wants to change his life, but he's afraid he will be misunderstood. He's afraid people will laugh at him. I get the feeling his life is not necessarily happy, but it's comfortable. He wants to change things, but he's frightened. He says "Do I dare disturb the universe?" Later comes one of the saddest lines in poetry - "And would it have been worth it after all?" and you know that Prufrock has chickened out. His moment has passed. He's not going to speak. He's going to get old and be alone because he didn't dare disturb the universe.

So the line I would get on a tattoo is "disturb the universe" - a statement, not a question. It doesn't necessarily represent who I am, but who I want to be. I want to be a person who is not afraid to take a chance. I want to be willing to disturb the universe.

Will I get a tattoo? Maybe some day. So far, I'm still afraid.

By Emily Dickinson

It's all I have to bring today--
This, and my heart beside--
This, and my heart, and all the fields--
And all the meadows wide--
Be sure you count -- should I forget
Some one the sum could tell--
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.


From "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"


And indeed there will be time
To wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and, ‘Do I dare?’
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: ‘How his hair is growing thin!’]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: ‘But how his arms and legs are thin!’]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?